Patronss;

Me: I think I'm gonna close the pool slide down, I'm really thirsty. Okay, I'm gonna close it and get a drink.
I put the cones in front of the slide and walk away. I come back for a second, still without my drink, and there's a man and his son at the top of the slide asking if they can go down.
Preferred response: No. No, there's cones in front of the slide. Sir, there are cones in front of the slide. The slide is closed. Sir. Hey moron! Do you not see the CONES in front of the SLIDE?
Actual response: "Sir, the slide is closed, but I will let you go down once."


Man 2: "My daughter lost her hair piece in the pool! Ma'am, my daughter lost her hairpiece!"
Preferred response: What do you want me to do, drain the pool? I'm the only lifeguard out here!
Actual response: "Well, uh.. sorry?"


Cattie: "Hey buddy, you can't swim in the deep end."
Son: "Okay."
Man 1 (the man who tried to use the slides): Even if there's no one in there?"
Cattie: "Yes."
Man 1: "You're stupid. You're just being stupid."
Cattie's preferred response: Get out.
Actual response: (Sarcastically) "Sor-ry."
^^ I love her.