Okay. What? :)

Me: "Lila, you wanna do weird things. Like go to Canada. I just wanna do normal things."
Lila: "Like marry _____?"
Me: "Yeah! Wait. That's not normal."

Mrs. N.: "Hi Phoebe, I was just wondering if you had a moment to pray for Taylor-"
Me: *ugh, not this again*
Mrs. N.: "He's pitching the championship game."
Me: "Phew."

Matt: "I am not a part of this system! So don't do drugs, okay?"
Me: "Okay. What?"

Tom: "When our first kid falls of his bike, I'm gonna be like 'Ahahahahah! Oh crap. You're bleeding. Let's go find your mom.'"
Me: "I will beat you."